Dads are from Mars, Moms are from Venus

This is one of the facts that every men and women know well. No matter how similar mom and dad appears to be, the moment they look into a two sided mirror, when mom raises her right hand, dad would definitely raise his left hand!

It same applies when playing the roles of parents. I bet it's common nowadays for moms to fell stressed out for playing the role of a single mom, managing house chores and the kids all  alone, while most dads just decided to turn into a potato couch an d wouldn't even lift up a finger to help.. ( I could even lose my head by just thinking about it!). It is somewhat a ridiculously unacceptable condition in a family institution when only one party is playing it's role and the other just look on.


I often ask myself 'How on earth can I get those lazy bumps to voluntarily play his role as a dad?' Being an independent mom and living in 'denial happiness' are two great issues. You just can't simply combined them together. Dad just cannot forever tiny out himself from lending mom a helping hand. The kids need their dad too throughout their growing years.


Then it just occur to me..For once, I MUST face the fact than mom and dad are TWO different individuals. They will never be alike or anything near to it..I strictly believe that a good communication between mom n dad is essential. Respecting and listening to each other is a good practice.


Obviously, forcing dad to help just won't do the trick. You'll end up being the 'big nagger' or even promote sparks of a big fight. Bribing dad with 'delicious favourite meals' on table (or even on bed ) won't last long either. You'll end up even more stressed out when his helping hand isn't reachable to your needs. Let dad help because he's playing his own role as a dad and husband. Best is to let him do it voluntarily.

A best effective and permanent way is to learn to develop a more efficient way of communication between mom and dad. Mom will have to just stop giving orders to dad. Learn to listen to dad's side of view on parenting. Stop criticising dad's efforts to help and learn to trust dad with the kids alone (if it worries you too much, well, just monitor him from afar).


Dad may not complete each and every task as perfect and well done as mom, at least he's trying to help (voluntarily, to be more specific). Reconsider that, than having a sore eye witnessing him, relaxing on the couch and not even helping.Learn also to accept each other ideas on parenting. Do not put a deaf ear on dad's opinions. Dad too, should take part and play his role. Praise each other more rather than criticising. 

It is true, like they say, 'Mom knows best, because she knows well', however, in a family where mom and dad are involved, two heads are better than one. Practise the discuss, listen and respect rules and you'll find that parenting together isn't that stressful after all.

Milk Quality vs Milk Quantity

The whole world agrees on one matter - Breast milk is the best milk a mom could provide for her growing baby. Surely it doesn't cost you a penny and yet it could provide the best nutrients at the perfect quantity for your baby's development, both physically and spiritually.

When I was a 1st time mom, little did I know about the miracle  works of breast milk. During the 1st few months of lactating my 1st child, I often caught up with bad colds. I consume lots of oranges diligently everyday during those months. I started to notice that my baby girl merely fall sick, even after her immunization doses. She was pretty strong and fit for a baby of her size.

I even recalled having a bad fever after 6m of delivery. Even then, I still continue breastfeeding  exclusively. Amazingly, my baby girl remains fit and healthy growing. I wondered..what makes her THAT strong? No,..she didn't get the 'orange milk' (that's what I thought at 1st), but what happen was, when I diligently consume oranges (which is rich in Vitamin C), my body produces more resistant antibodies. These are the antibodies that flows to my baby during breastfeeding. No wonder I had a fit and healthy baby girl!

Since then, oranges and cod liver capsules are a must in my lactating diet. Especially during those 1st few months of baby's rapid growth. Cod liver oils, on the other hand is a good remedy for coughing moms and acts superbly on your baby's brain development. All the goodness of Omega 3 fatty acids will aid into a smart learning baby.


I can't make it a must for every lactating moms, but whatever lactating diets you choose, keep a highlight on it's nutrients and make sure it's affordable too. You won't want to over strained yourself on over budgeting those expenses, hence making ways for stress to suppress your milk production. Any nutritious food that benefits you, will also be beneficial to your baby, via breast milk.


As to produce more milk during lactating, the key rule is to avoid entrapping yourself in stressful conditions. A stressful mom will stumble upon difficulties in producing more milk. One helpful tip is to learn that there are also 1st time mothers out there who face many issues before  mastering the correct breastfeeding techniques. Be a positive thinker in life and it can save you a dollar or even more. =)


Here's a list of food that can enhance your body to produce more milk. I jot it down, years back during one of my antenatal classes. It helps me a lot.

1. Centella asiatica (pennyworts)
2. Black fennel seeds
3. Spinach
4. White radish
5. White shark ( you make them into dishes, not as pets -LOL)
6. Milk (or any milk based drinks)
7. Banana heart (inflorescence)

Milk and black fennel seeds seems to blend in well with me and my kids. But above all, make sure to drink plenty. You will easily be drenched out during lactating.

Haemorrhoids (Piles)

I had it during my 3rd pregnancy with my 2nd child. I felt discomfort at first, but then I got used to it. The pressure from the baby 'brought out' the piles. It's not that BIG but small enough to make me feel uneasy 'down there'. It's still there and will protrude again no matter how many times I try to push it 'back inside'.

It gets worst especially after I'm a ll worn-out after a whole day of house chores and taking care of two active kids. In fact, my mama still had it ever since having my eldest sis, that was in 1969 till today. Medication and surgery won't permanently exclude it. It can reoccur whenever we over strained our body with 'heavy duty' work or chores.


I'm still working out on it and finding the right remedy to get rid of it (without surgery, of course). I was recommended VF Piles (again, another homeopathy solution), twice a day intake till the piles deceases. So far, so good.I really hope that it could disappear permanently before I conceived again.. :-) 

Breast feeding and breast engorgement

One good tip I still practiced till now is to spare some frozen cabbage leaves throughout the 1st month of breastfeeding or till you have mastered breastfeeding skills.Its NOT an easy task to breastfed your baby.You may face problems such as little milk, too much milk could also be a problem as it could lead to breast engorgement and later you'll experienced chapped, sored or even bled nipples.The frozen cabbage leaves could somehow ease the engorged pain by just cupping it over your breast.It works for me.I also take Pulsatilla (Wind Flower).3 doses is enough to soothe my engorgement.


And another 1 helpful tip is to continue breastfeeding your baby.The more milk the baby feeds, the better the milk will flow, and soon the engorgement will soothe away by itself.Engorgement is a normal thing for me.It happens during my 1st and 2nd child.Its a normal signal your body shows when more milk need to be produced.Do not dab or soothe the engorged breast with anything warm because it can make pain even more unbearable.Frozen cabbage leaves does the trick.


Breastfed your baby correctly.You won't want to end up with sored nipples.Make sure the whole of the dark area (aureole) fits into your baby's mouth.The baby must not suck in his lips together while feeding.I close an eye on this issue.As a result, I experienced sored nipples and blocked ducts from time to time during my 1st child.