"'Always be firm, but yet gentle with your kids'. Those are the words of wisdom from a mother to her daughter, who is now, entering motherhood herself. As a mother myself, I believe that kids tantrums happens for a reason. A reason for those unheard dissatisfaction. Dissatisfaction on their feelings when often witnessing parents quarreling and hitting each other, the feelings of an elder child being left out when parents care and tend more to their younger siblings, feelings of children lacking quality times with their busy occupied parents, feelings of children in a moved-out-a-lot family, feelings of children not spending enough playtime with friends, feelings of children being left out in any decision making that concerns the whole family and much much more an adult mind could think of.
They too, need to voice out their feelings and opinions. And most importantly, being heard by parents. Tantrums can happen at home or even in public, happens once in a while or even everyday tantrums like my kids. Anything dissatisfying could trigger tantrums. If lack of mom's attention is the cause, anything that could catch mom's attention will do, even throwing a bad tantrum in public. When kids tantrums become public, bring them to a quiet corner, far from public eyes if possible, and talk some senses into them. It could be a win-win situation instead of win-lose, if you are good at negotiating with your kids. Never shout and scream at them in public. It'll scar their pride and even mushroomed hatred inside.
Bear in mind that kids pick up bad habits faster than the good ones. It could be habits from their friends, cousins or even parents themselves. These bad habits will show themselves during tantrums. But root of those tantrums doesn't source from their surrounding, but it's from the unheard souls within them.
When those dissatisfaction aren't heard or voice out, it will slowly accumulate inside and your kids will soon bottled up all of their feelings. Before you know it, there will be a thick wall between you and your kids. The wall that you, as a parent yourself, obliviously, take part in constructing it.
It is a priority to educate kids the right ways and means to speak up for themselves. It is never to late to change to a better parent. It is also, after 3years, that I started to realized I haven't heard my daughter well enough. I am also all these years, obliviously building those wall of gaps between the both of us. I am, the cause of her everyday tantrums. The truth can hurt sometimes.
Dissolving those wall of gaps, on the other hand, doesn't take ages. The relationship between a child and her mother has long been bond, even before a child is born. When parents decided to turn over a new leaf, their kids will follow voluntarily. When kids dissatisfaction are always heard and valued by parents, kids won't hesitate anymore to confront their parents whenever they need to be heard. No more unheard dissatisfaction = no more bottled up feelings = no more sudden tantrums.
