This is one of the facts that every men and women know well. No matter how similar mom and dad appears to be, the moment they look into a two sided mirror, when mom raises her right hand, dad would definitely raise his left hand!
It same applies when playing the roles of parents. I bet it's common nowadays for moms to fell stressed out for playing the role of a single mom, managing house chores and the kids all alone, while most dads just decided to turn into a potato couch an d wouldn't even lift up a finger to help.. ( I could even lose my head by just thinking about it!). It is somewhat a ridiculously unacceptable condition in a family institution when only one party is playing it's role and the other just look on.
I often ask myself 'How on earth can I get those lazy bumps to voluntarily play his role as a dad?' Being an independent mom and living in 'denial happiness' are two great issues. You just can't simply combined them together. Dad just cannot forever tiny out himself from lending mom a helping hand. The kids need their dad too throughout their growing years.
Then it just occur to me..For once, I MUST face the fact than mom and dad are TWO different individuals. They will never be alike or anything near to it..I strictly believe that a good communication between mom n dad is essential. Respecting and listening to each other is a good practice.
Obviously, forcing dad to help just won't do the trick. You'll end up being the 'big nagger' or even promote sparks of a big fight. Bribing dad with 'delicious favourite meals' on table (or even on bed ) won't last long either. You'll end up even more stressed out when his helping hand isn't reachable to your needs. Let dad help because he's playing his own role as a dad and husband. Best is to let him do it voluntarily.
A best effective and permanent way is to learn to develop a more efficient way of communication between mom and dad. Mom will have to just stop giving orders to dad. Learn to listen to dad's side of view on parenting. Stop criticising dad's efforts to help and learn to trust dad with the kids alone (if it worries you too much, well, just monitor him from afar).
Dad may not complete each and every task as perfect and well done as mom, at least he's trying to help (voluntarily, to be more specific). Reconsider that, than having a sore eye witnessing him, relaxing on the couch and not even helping.Learn also to accept each other ideas on parenting. Do not put a deaf ear on dad's opinions. Dad too, should take part and play his role. Praise each other more rather than criticising.
It is true, like they say, 'Mom knows best, because she knows well', however, in a family where mom and dad are involved, two heads are better than one. Practise the discuss, listen and respect rules and you'll find that parenting together isn't that stressful after all.
